


Yesterday

by WhiteDove23



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Depressing, Gen, Insecurity, Panic Attacks, Shy Gaara (Naruto), Social Anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:02:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25021354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteDove23/pseuds/WhiteDove23
Summary: Parties aren't really Gaara's thing, but he goes anyway. How bad could it be? A short fic where Gaara finds himself in an uncomfortable situation.
Kudos: 9





	Yesterday

Gaara squeezed himself tighter into the corner of the room. Loud thumping music pounded in his ears. Naruto’s parties were always like this. A sea of bodies jumped around the livingroom, drinks in hand, drunken laughter creating an undertone to the wub wub of the bass. How could one person have so many friends? Gaara wasn’t sure he’d ever seen so many people in one place. Temari and Konkuro were among them somewhere. Dancing, chatting, meeting, engaging. Gaara sighed. They had good intentions when they brought him, but it was never that easy for him. So he stayed in the corner. The dim lights in the room made it easy for him to go unnoticed. Naruto was likely entertaining guests in the kitchen anyway.

He was snapped out of his reverie when a tall, dark haired man peeled off from the crowd of bodies and approached him. Gaara didn’t recognize him, but he must’ve been one of Naruto’s friends, or he wouldn’t be there, right? Unless someone else brought him. He was taller than Gaara, and immediately propped himself up, one hand on the wall next to him. Gaara winced at the alcohol smell on his breath and stepped back. The man moved forward, invading his space again. Gaara shrank back against the wall as the man cornered him.

“Hey babe, you’re lookin lonely over here.” The man winked. Gaara shuddered.

“U-um,” Gaara tried to think of something to say, but his tongue wouldn’t cooperate. Why can’t I just tell him to leave? The man leaned forward and stroked Gaara’s hair. ‘Tell him to stop,’ Gaara told himself, ‘Push him away, what are you doing?’ But he was paralyzed. The hand came down to his cheek. Gaara flinched, but his arms wouldn’t move. Inside, he was screaming at himself. ‘Are you stupid? Don’t let this stranger touch you. Push him away, leave, something!’ But he didn’t. A sick feeling crept into his stomach as the petting continued. Yellow teeth stretched into a grin.

“You want a drink sweetheart?”

“N-no, I don’t drink.” Gaara managed to stammer out.

“Aw, that’s too bad.”

Blood thumped in his ears as the man’s hand wandered lower. Gaara screamed at himself, ‘Run away! Just run! You don’t have to put up with this! Push him away!’ A mantra had formed in his mind, running on replay. He withdrew into himself further at each repetition. His gaze wandered around the room, hoping to catch a glimpse of his brother or sister. Or Naruto. Or anyone who might help him. But the music was too loud, and no one paid them any attention. He turned back to the grinning man, whose hands were now at the hem of Gaara’s sweater, thumb brushing against the skin of his stomach. Gaara was sure the man could feel him trembling. ‘Run away, what’s wrong with you? You’re so stupid, just leave! He won’t chase you, he won’t do anything. You’re so stupid.’ The mantra continued. He looked around again, then down at the floor. ‘Save yourself, you idiot, stop waiting for someone else to do it. How many times has Konkuro told you to stand up for yourself? How many? Too many. Just do it. Tell this guy to back off. Temari would be disappointed in you.’

“You’re a cute one, aren’t you?” The man slid his hand up under Gaara’s sweater, rubbing his smooth skin. Getting bolder, the man leaned down and pressed his lips against Gaara’s neck, “Let’s get out of here, whaddaya say? We can find a room upstairs.”

“Uh, I-I have to go to the b-bathroom.” Gaara half yelled, then tore himself away from the man’s grip and beelined for the bathroom in the hallway. He closed and locked the door behind him and sat in the bathtub. He curled in on himself and wept. ‘What’s wrong with me?’ His skin felt dirty. Contaminated by that man’s invading touch. For a horrible moment, he wondered what he would have done if the bathroom was occupied. Shaking the thought away, Gaara tried to take deep breaths and wiped away his tears on his sleeve. There was another bathroom upstairs. They can use that one. It’s fine.

He peeled the curtain back a little and stared at the door. Fear bubbled from his chest to his throat. He was going to have to leave at some point. What if the man was there, waiting for him? What would he do then? He shook his head. The man was drunk, he’d probably wander off pretty quickly after Gaara disappeared. Still, he couldn’t shake the gnawing tension that said, but ‘what if?’ Maybe he should find Naruto. He felt safe around him. Gaara dismissed that idea. This was Naruto’s party. The last thing he would want is to babysit Gaara. It wouldn’t be fair to him. Gaara wanted to go home. He thought about calling Temari or Konkuro, but .. they were probably having a great time. The last thing he wanted to do was make them leave for his sake. No, he would have to walk out of here on his own, and head home. It was a little far, but that was okay.

The door seemed to move further away the longer he sat, as if it sensed his reluctance. His cowardice. ‘I’m so stupid, he’s probably long gone. This is nothing. If I had just pushed him away or said something in the first place, I wouldn’t be in this mess.’ Gaara shook his head again, resting his chin on the edge of the tub. A knock on the door made him flinch. The handle twitched and rattled as someone tried to open the door. He sucked in a breath and waited, prepared to close the curtain and hide should they get in. But they walked away. He let out his breath, feeling like his bones turned to jelly as he sank down in the tub. He sat there a while longer, letting his eyes dry out, staring at the popcorn ceiling of the bathroom. Would Naruto be upset if Gaara left? Would he notice? Probably not. There had to be a hundred people here. No one would notice he was gone.

Gaara forced himself to sit up, and pulled himself out of the tub. He walked over to the sink and looked at his reflection. His eyes were red and rubbed raw, skin more pale than usual. Even his hair looked dingier. He splashed cold water on his face and turned back to the door, steeling himself. ‘Just go, no one is out there waiting. No one will pay any attention to you. Just go. Don’t be stupid. That guy is long gone.’

Gaara reached out, angrily noticing his hand was shaking and grabbed the handle. ‘Stop being an idiot. Why are you shaking? What’s wrong with you?’ He turned the handle and opened the door. No one waited. No one lurked in the hallway. Surprise raced through him, despite what he’d told himself. Hunching his shoulders and tucking in his elbows, Gaara headed for the front door. Which meant walking back through the living room, where everyone was dancing. The lights had darkened. He felt a little safer knowing he wasn’t as visible. He pressed on, one step at a time, towards the door. His shoes left imprints on the carpet. He’d never noticed before. The room was hot and stuffy, making breathing harder than normal. People crossed his path, holding drinks, moving in and out of the kitchen with snacks. He didn’t look at their faces. If one of them was that man, he didn’t know what he’d do. Finally, the big white door was in sight. He crossed the rest of the room, passing the stairway. Shoes were scattered all around the entrance, like little landmines. He was grateful his were still on. Digging through a pile of dirty shoes would take forever. He put his hand on the brassy handle and tugged. It opened with little resistance, the suction moving the curtain on the window beside him. Swinging it open the rest of the way, Gaara stepped forward onto the porch, and smacked right into a person’s chest.

“Oh hey, I apologize, are you alright?” The man asked. Gaara looked up. He knew this guy, sort of. One of Naruto’s friends, Rock Lee.

“S-sorry,” Gaara mumbled, cursing his stutter. Why couldn’t he talk like normal people? He wondered if Lee even heard him over the music.

“No need to apologize, my friend, it was entirely my bad.” Lee replied. “Are you okay? Do you need a ride or anything?”

“N-no, thank you.” Gaara said, slipping past him onto the stone steps. “Uh, have f-fun.”

“I will, thank you!” Lee waved to him, and went inside, shutting the door. Gaara let his shoulders droop. He walked down the steps and onto the sidewalk, staring up at the stars. He took a deep breath. The night air felt freeing and welcoming, loosening the tightness in his chest. The street was covered with parked cars along both sides of the road. He walked past them, glad to be away from the crowd, even if the cars were empty. Ahead, neighborhood homes were dark and trees overshadowed the walkway. Tucking his hands in his pockets, Gaara told himself he would call his sister when he got closer to home. That way, she couldn’t insist on picking him up. He couldn’t wait to get home and shower.


End file.
